I recently had the incredible pleasure of attending some of Jan Hargrave's seminars on body language. She also delved into the jury selection process in court hearings which gave us an incredible insight into how much thought, work and energy is put into simply selecting the right jurors for a specific case. She then moved on to talk about how much you can read from a witnesses body language as opposed to the spoken word and how much a witness really remembers or simply believes to remember, and this is the topic that I would like to write about today: is reality seen through our eyes or created in our brain whether we have actually seen/heard something or not?
Part of the problem is that the brain does not have a knack for retaining many specifics and is highly susceptible to suggestion. Our memory is weak and usually overloaded with information. An event usually happens so fast that when we are asked to recount specifics of the event we can hardly remember any details as we never focused on the even in such detail. Hundreds of studies have already shown that memories are malleable and, contrary to popular belief, don't work like a video recorder but rather like a grainy slide show.
And here are some examples: in a 1974 study at the University of California, Irvine, participants were asked to view films of minor car accidents in which no glass was broken. When the subjects were asked how fast the cars were driving when they 'smashed' into each other – as opposed to 'hit' – they were more likely to describe shattered glass they never saw. In 1999 researchers at Harvard University showed a video of people dressed in either black or white passing a basketball. The participants were asked to count the number of passes made by players in white. During the test, a woman dressed in a gorilla suit strolled through the players. She remained unnoticed by about half of the subjects. And finally, just to make my point, distraction is not limited to the eyes: at the University of London a 69-second long audio recording of two men and two women preparing for a party was played to a group of participants. Almost all the subjects instructed to listen to the women did not hear a third man repeating 'I am a gorilla' for 19 seconds during the conversation.
These are very powerful findings: if you tell your mind to focus on something – anything – it will filter out everything else, just like a computer.
You can utilize this feature to create the most fulfilling, healthy and happy life for yourself – simply program your mind to see what you ultimately would want to see. Visualize it, bit by bit. Scientists have already proven to us that our brain cannot distinguish whether we saw an object or a situation with our own eyes or whether we 'only' imagined that object or scene by thinking about them. Why not take advantage of this most powerful feature of our brain/mind/computer and program it so that can experience life the way we would want to?
Now most of you might sigh and ask – but how am I supposed to do that?! This is much, much easier than you might think: simply visualize, in every possible tiny detail, the outcome or result you would want to see happen. And allow the rest to simply unfold for you.
Have fun programming your mind into creating the best life ever for you!
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We become what we think:
Watch your thoughts as they become your words.
Watch your words as they become your actions.
Watch your actions as they become your habits.
Watch your habits as they become your character.
Watch your character as it becomes your destiny.
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What we believe in and what we focus on ultimately creates our reality. This blog is all about how to utilize the most powerful computer ever built – our mind – so that we can live the most proactively and consciously created life ever!
To show you how rather easy it is to train your mind to seek out whatever it is that you would want in life: be it a (better) job, a (more fulfilling) relationship or a healthy body, all you really have to focus on are exactly those things: a (better) job, a (more fulfilling) relationship, or a healthy body. You might say, this is crazy – by simply focusing on these things one simply cannot achieve any of this. And still I say it is possible – and I will give you an example that will prove my point. This exercise works great in my one on one private coachings because I have the element of surprise on my side, but I will do my best to achieve the same here:
Important: If you would like to do this exercise, then only read up until point 5! Do the exercise and then continue.
1. Go to the kitchen and have pen and paper as well as a timer ready.
2. Put the paper on a hard surface, such as a book or clipboard, so that you can walk around with it and write something on it.
3. Go to your living room.
4. You have 120 seconds (2 minutes) – start the timer now – and write down everything that has any shade of blue in it. Anything blue counts.
5. Return to the kitchen and take a tally and count how many items with the color blue in them you were able to identify in the past 2 minutes. Pretty impressive, don't you think?
Our mind is like a giant computer that we can program as we see fit. If our programming is right, our mind will only focus on the things that we tell it to focus on, such as on the color blue. When you look at the list with all things blue that you just compiled you can see for yourself how focused and how target-oriented your brain can be.
If you thought that this was the exercise then all I can say is – you should know me better ;)
And now onto the next step of the exercise:
1. Stay focused on the piece of paper with all things blue.
2. Start the timer. You have 120 seconds again.
3.Without peeking into your living room write down anything that has the color yellow in it. Anything yellow would count. You must do so from memory.
4. How many items do you remember? Any at all?
5. Compare the number of blue items with the number of yellow items on your list. Pretty eye-opening isn't it?!
Conclusion: if you tell your mind to focus on something specific, then it will focus on exactly that and nothing else! Even though your eyes might most likely have seen things with the color yellow in them, you simply do not remember them, because they never entered your conscious realm. Your mind was not programmed to do so and thus discarded them as useless. Now imagine you were to focus on opportunities galore and that life was full of wonderful experiences and that people can be trusted and that money comes easily and were able to program your mind to only see these – imagine what a life you would be creating for yourself.
Every day, upon waking up, program your mind anew so that it will only focus on and filter through opportunities, sunshine, easy flow of money, deep and meaningful relationships, healthy body, etc., etc., etc.
May your life be consciously and proactively created and filled with eternal sunshine.
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As I received so many great comments about my last video post, I thought I would take the opportunity to follow up with a blog entry and dig a little deeper into the matter.
The movie per se was incredible but specifically from a counselor's perspective I think it was simply mind-blowing: Geoffry Rush was my hero, period. Why?! Because he had so much strength and patience. He was a gentle but determined coach and practiced tough, classy love and never lost sight of his ability to be an inspiring counselor even when his client was the future King of England and he only an immigrant from Australia.
In today's blog entry I would like to show you how a seemingly incurable physical challenge – in this case a stutter – can be overcome by shattering our belief system buried deep in our mind and through the loving and caring guidance of a gifted healer. The whole movie boils down to one scene, pretty early on when Lionel Logue, played by Geoffrey Rush tells the Prince of Wales, played by Colin Firth, that he indeed can speak without stutter. First he makes him sing a text where the future king realizes he can do so without stuttering. As the Prince remains a doubting Thomas, Logue plays out his trump card, a new recording device that has just arrived from America. He puts a headset over Firth's ears and while he has him listen to very loud music he makes him read a text which he records. This is the quintessential part of the movie for me: with this new recording device he was able to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt to the Prince and us, the audience, that indeed a stutter free speech is possible as long as the unknown and gigantic beast called mind can be reigned in. In this case the connection between ears, i.e. hearing oneself speak, and the brain. By cutting that connection, the Prince's belief system was cut. Since he couldn't hear himself anymore, his ears could not verify his belief system – that he had a stutter – that he had been carrying with him his entire life. All of a sudden his mind was free to simply "live" and breathe again without being hammered down by the Prince's paradigm. The future King would have never believed Logue that he spoke without any stutter in his voice had there not been his recorded voice as an unshakable evidence of his capability of free and normal speech.
What a revelation this scene was – not only to the Prince, but also to me. This scene again showed me the incredible and apparently limitless power of our mind to either hold us down or to propel us into glory. If we only learned how to dance with our mind and tell it where to go, the sky would be the limit. The first step toward that journey would be though to take utter and full responsibility for everything that "happens to us" because ultimately the source is deep within our mind. If I take responsibility and acknowledge that I am 100% interwoven with whatever situation I find myself in, because it was created in my mind and through my own thoughts first, then I have the power to undo things and recreate any situation I would rather want to experience. Sometimes we might be able to do so on our own and sometimes we might need the guidance of healers to get there, be it through the help of allopathic medicine, therapists, counselors, coaches or healers.
Either way. take charge of your fate and you will be enjoying a fulfilling because proactively self-created life. I wish you good luck with your endeavors and am cheering you on from the sidelines.
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Last week we organized a bowling event as part of our efforts to improve group dynamics at our company. Well, needless to say that many of us had either never played before or only had very little experience in bowling – and I certainly would say that I belong to the latter group – while some others could be called pros of the game.
We tried to create teams of equal strength to make it more fun for everyone so we established three categories: total beginners, intermediate and folks who knew how to play. I self-assessed myself as fitting into the second group.
Well, first round of the game came about and it was time for me to bowl and just as I internally had feared the ball hit the side barrier and my first try thus didn't count. I sighed and told myself – "told you so, you are a loser, period!" With this thought rushing through my head I bowled again and so that I could just prove myself, I of course also bowled this one right passed each and every pin so that I had a big fat 'zero' t o show for after my first round. I really tried to shrug it off and tell myself that I would do better next round, but internally I thought to myself, o boy o boy, you cannot even effing bowl.
Second time round I scored a combined five points – not great but certainly better than the big fat zero from my first attempt. Of course I immediately started to observe my fellow teammates as well as watched the other teams wondering whether I would be the worst in the crowd that night. With a little practice though, I got better and better as the night progressed and I realized that I did not need to throw the ball with brute force but rather with a bit of 'flair' making sure it would go through the middle of the stack. When the first game ended after 10 rounds my score card showed 86 points, which put me in the top third of our thirty some strong posse that night.
We created a second round of teams and off we went again. This time though, now that I had a better feel for the weight of the ball and length of the bowling alley and how much strength I should be using, I started to really focus my mind on hitting the first, central, pin slightly to its right or left. Every time before I threw the ball I visualized a perfect score of 10 with all the pins being throwed around by my perfect handling of the bowl. This time round I managed to clean the slate 4 times, twice as much as during my first game. I ended this game with 108 points – significantly more points than before.
Even though we were competing as teams against one another, I of course wanted to be at least the best in my team. First time round I finished as third in our team of six, and second time round I finished already as a close second.
People really liked the game so we decided to play one final game and created new teams again.
Now that my confidence was a lot higher than when we had started to play my visualizations were also much stronger. This time I simply knew how to throw the ball, I felt one with the alley and the pins and felt good about myself and so it happened that I wiped off all 10 pins three times in a row. I was so in tune with the game that I already knew way before the ball got even close to the first pin that I would clear out the field. I would already turn around and dance the dance of a winner before I could even hear the loud bang of the ball hitting the first pin. It was a wonderful feeling. I could have continued all night long. Life and everything that I believe in – the power of our mind, the power of visualization, self-love and self-acceptance, patience and determination – all came about during a simple game called bowling. While I was riding on this high wave I started to realize that I could actually beat the high score of the night, which at that time stood at a pretty impressive 154. I don't even remember where I stood after I finished my 9th round, all I know is that I didn't really think I could beat the high score anymore as I only had one round left. But I was in such a good place emotionally and mentally that I was able to clear out twice before scoring 9 points in my third round.
When all was said and done my score card was reading 165 points – the biggest number of the night by far. I felt like a champ. It was great.
The only reason why I am sharing this story with you is to show you that the power of our mind can propel us into spheres we never thought possible. Once your energies are flowing and you are in tune with the universe and you have a clearly defined goal, there is nothing that can stop you, as long as you have unwavering belief that you can and will achieve your dream!
Merry Christmas everyone!
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In order to create the life that you would want to live in, you need to be able to visualize. Your mind needs to be in a state where it is relaxed, calm, and balanced enough to produce a picture of your future that sweeps you off your feet.
One way of centering yourself – and by the way in my opinion the most powerful way – is through controlled breathing as shown in one of my videos: 'How to Breathe – the Power of your Breath".
A second way – and this would go in tandem with the above mentioned – would be meditation. Click here for a video on "How to properly Meditate – the easy way".
There is another way – the usage of herbal supplements – to help relax the mind during the day and help you to fall asleep after a hard day's work.
In this blog entry I would like to highlight 4 such supplements:
1) Melatonin:
Melatonin is a hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain. It helps regulate other hormones and maintains the body's circadian rhythm. The circadian rhythm is an internal 24-hour “clock” that plays a critical role in when we fall asleep and when we wake up. When it is dark, your body produces more melatonin; when it is light, the production of melatonin drops. Being exposed to bright lights in the evening or too little light during the day can disrupt the body' s normal melatonin cycles. For example, jet lag, shift work, and poor vision can disrupt melatonin cycles.
Melatonin has strong antioxidant effects. Preliminary evidence suggests that it may help strengthen the immune system.
Studies suggest that melatonin supplements may help people with disrupted circadian rhythms (such as people with jet lag or those who work the night shift) and those with low melatonin levels (such as some seniors and people with schizophrenia) to sleep better. A review of clinical studies suggests that melatonin supplements may help prevent jet lag, particularly in people who cross five or more time zones.
Dosage suggestion: start with 5mg and observe how long it takes you to fall asleep. You can crank up the dosage to 15mg if necessary.
For more information on the impact of melatonin on your health, please read this article.
2) Magnesium:
Magnesium citrate, a magnesium salt of citric acid, is a chemical agent which is used medicinally as a saline laxative and to completely empty the bowel prior to a major surgery or colonoscopy as well as being a natural supplement to ward off the negative effects of a prolonged period of stress or an overreaction to stress. Going through a stressful period without sufficient magnesium can set up a deficit which, if not corrected, can linger, causing more stress and further health problems.
Magnesium has an important role in essentially every life function. It helps maintain normal muscle and nerve activity, keeps heart rhythm steady, supports a healthy immune system and keeps bones strong.
Magnesium also helps regulate blood sugar levels, promotes normal blood pressure and is involved in energy metabolism, helping overcome low energy levels, fatigue, insomnia, and anxiety. Many researchers believe that no single dietary factor is as critical as magnesium.
Dosage: you can take it daily, but you would need to build levels that your body can sustain otherwise you will end up having diarrhea. Start with half the recommended amount and work up your way until you feel the effect.
3) St. John's Wort:
St. John’s wort is an herb most commonly used for depression and conditions that sometimes go along with depression such as anxiety, tiredness, loss of appetite and trouble sleeping.
Dosage: start with 300mg in the evening and pump it up to around 900mg if need be.
4) L-Theanine:
L-Theanine is an amino acid commonly found in tea, specifically in green tea. The calming effect of green tea may seem contradictory to the stimulatory property of tea's caffeine content but it can be explained by the action of L-theanine. This amino acid actually acts antagonistically against the stimulatory effects of caffeine on the nervous system. The amino acid directly stimulates the production of alpha brain waves, creating a state of deep relaxation and mental alertness similar to what is achieved through meditation. Second, L-theanine is involved in the formation of the inhibitory neurotransmitter, gamma amino butyric acid (GABA). GABA influences the levels of two other neurotransmitters, dopamine and serotonin, producing the key relaxation effect. For more info you can check out this article.
Dosage: you can take several hundred mg per day as no side effects are known.
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Given the success of my last blog entry: "Moneyball or the Power of Focusing on what You have Power over!" and all the feedback I have received, I thought I would write a follow-up blog entry giving you a step-by-step guide on how you can create your own "Moneyball success story".
My philosophies and teachings are pretty straight forward and easy – and because they are so simple, I keep saying "it's easy but not simple; and simple but not easy". Why am I using this mantra? Well it seems that people fall off the wagon because they simply cannot believe how simple the process is – so they try to either overcomplicate things by adding steps to or altering the process or simply not getting or believing in it. And then they wonder why it doesn't work. Those who do understand the process and have faith reap tremendous results.
Allow me to outline the process in as clear and straight forward manner as I possibly can to you:
1) Step one: Identify the precise problem – what is the actual challenge, what is the issue at hand? (Believe me, in 99% of the time money, or the lack of it, is not the issue!)
2) Step two: What would be a perfect solution for the problem? Create a solution in your mind. Visualize an ideal picture of how you would want things to be.
3) Step three: Work consistently at it. You have got take steps that take you to your ideal place. Your actions must be congruent with your vision.
4) Step four: Believe that it will happen – you must have unwavering faith that results will show up when the time is ready!
For the above steps to work, two statements have to accepted as fundamental laws of the universe:
1) Everything is energy – literally. From bricks to computers, rivers and airplanes to thoughts, emotions, speech, and planet earth. Since everything is energy then that means that everything is oscillating at at specific frequency. Thus, to change something, anything, one only has to change the frequency of bring about almost instantaneous change.
2) We are all connected. Actually, everything and everyone are connected through an invisible net of energy: from humans to nature and the animal kingdom to the universe at large. Precisely because of this connection we have an impact on everyone and everything else and thus can alter the course of our fate.
Good luck with creating the best life for yourself ever!
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I just watched the movie Moneyball while visiting Sydney. When I saw that a movie about Billy Beane had come out, I simply had to go and watch it. Not because Brad Pitt plays the lead role or because I am a baseball fan – mind you, after so many years in the US, I still do not understand the rules completely – but because I heard about Billy Beane's achievements. Apparently he was able to convert a bottom of the barrel team into one with the most consecutive wins in baseball's history. Quite a remarkable achievement. I know that there is a lot of controversy about whether he really is a genius or even a successful GM or not but I will not get into any of this as this blog entry is not about baseball or sport per se, but rather about shifting of one's paradigm and focusing on what you have control over as opposed to worrying about things that you have no control over – in his case, the bigger budgets and better players of other teams in the franchise.
Since in my life it is all about the Power of our own Thoughts and how we can Change the set of Paradigms we are in, Beane's achievements quite naturally were rather intriguing to me so I wanted to learn more about him. Beane is the general manager of the Oakland Athletics, a baseball team operating without the mega budgets of the big name teams in the league – his team’s budget in 2002 was less than $40 million per year compared to say $140 million of the NY Yankees. With no money to buy championship talent Beane realized he has to look for a different way of doing things. His challenge was how to put together a team that was able to compete with the best of them while staying within the constraints of his low budget.
He had no clue as to how to go about this but he knew what the challenge was and that he had to do things fundamentally differently to how they had operated before.
Dismissing all of his team’s management efforts and suggestions to simply continue with the way they knew best – the old way – he eventually – (I do not believe in luck only in the power of creation!!) – stumbled across Peter Brand, a young economics graduate working in the back office of a big name competing team in the franchise who was convinced that certain sidelined players had a hidden value. It is this hidden value that Beane and Brand went to use to build a winning team.
They shifted the focus of the game from pitching and batting to whether a player was simply able to get to first base, period. This philosophy is called sabermetrics. Without getting too much into detail, this system is able to identify players that get the job done, i.e. make it to base one, irrespective of their other qualities or inadequacies.
He had the vision that this system could beat the big boys, persistently pursued his goal and had the belief that he would get there. I am sure this was not an easy task at all for him – persuading the management and his team to follow his vision and to buy into a model that no one else had tried out before must have been very draining on him. His system didn't work out right away either. Constant changes and some fine tuning throughout the season gradually helped create the team that beat the record for most consecutive wins in the game's history.
Billy is a prime example that even when you are really down and your livelihood and reputation and future are at stake that you can come out as a winner by simply focusing on areas that you have control over. And if you do not know what it is that you have control over then ask yourself over and over again until you do.
Given what we can learn from Billy I would highly recommend everyone to watch the movie – you might find inspiration in it.
Basically, when it comes down to it, I did the exact same thing when I hit rock bottom two years ago – what are my skill sets and what is it that I know? By changing the frequencies that I was vibrating at the mind frame I was in and focusing on a future that I desire I was able to create the lifestyle I am enjoying today. If I can do it, I am sure you can, too.
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Money – the constant struggle, battle and challenge in life! We never seem to have enough of it. And if we are in the lucky position that the amount of money that we have is not the challenge then for many it is the fact that earning it comes at a price – more than we are willing to pay for it: we feel exhausted, stressed and burned out.
Believe me, I know what it means to own a lot and lose it all. I was born into a wealthy family and as a child I was used to getting almost anything that I wanted. I grew up in an environment knowing that I was 'privileged' (without having a clue what the word actually means). Even though I was very young, I knew that I was treated differently than other people. At the tender age of eight a revolution swept through Iran and we had to flee the country and leave everything behind – everything. All of a sudden, I was not the privileged kid anymore, but the 'immigrant' in class who didn't speak the language too well. From then onwards it was not dad who provided for us but mom – it were rather confusing times I am telling you, my world not only had collapsed but was also turned upside down.
As a teenager I started to earn my own money and this is when I realized that money came to me rather easily. I don't mean that I did not have to work for my money – quite the contrary, I even had to work very hard for it at times – but I could clearly see that I landed summer and part time jobs that paid a ton more than those my peers were landing – which of course put a big smile on my face.
Long before I realized that everything in life is merely energy, created through the frequencies that we exude, it hit me that making money had little to do with who you were and whether you had a degree or not but rather how you 'felt' about money. When I had money in my wallet I felt, amongst many other things, 'cooler', 'bigger', 'older', and more self confident. With the influx of all these emotions life became more delightful – for example it was almost effortless to chat up girls, and otherwise not so enjoyable aspects of my life, such as exams and school, were easier to deal with. And as an added bonus, I would attract even more money: grandma would slip me a bill, I would find money on the sidewalk or an opportunity would present itself where I could earn extra cash without having to kill myself for it.
This simple but very powerful equation – money in my pocket means a better, smoother life – burnt itself into my mind and stayed with me throughout my entire life in good times as well as in hard and challenging ones. A few years ago when I was faced with my company's collapse, I remembered those carefree times in my teenage years and started to reprogram myself from the ground up about how I felt about and perceived money. Even though my self esteem had hit rock bottom and my stress levels sky high, I knew I had it in my power to ultimately change my life's trajectory. Remembering how I felt as a kid when I had a (large) bill in my wallet I put a couple of $100 bills in my wallet and went on walks. I would go on a shopping spree and everything that I saw and liked I would pretend to buy making myself believe that I could afford it. I would often say thank you that I can afford this or that and that money was coming easily to me. This exercise helped me to change how I felt about money and helped me shift my paradigm from victim in life to money is coming easily and in abundance to me. Admittedly, the exercise did not prevent me from having to file personal bankruptcy a couple of years ago but it helped me to get to where I am today: in 2011 I have made more money than ever before and it is still coming in in droves. Don't get me wrong, I have to work hard for it, but it practically comes to me on a silver platter, all I have to do is to "service it", i.e. guide my groups through Europe, coach my students or manage the business I am a partner in. And I am doing so with a big smile on my face – despite all the stresses that I am exposed to due to my rather busy (work) schedule – as I simply know that money lies out there waiting for me to be picked up. And with this mindset I end up earning my money easier and easier and with more joy than ever before.
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Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist who survived Auschwitz, wrote a book that is commonly known as "Man's Search for Meaning". In his book he concludes that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death. Frankl observed that those inmates who had something meaningful to do upon their release from the concentration camp, such as a teacher returning to his students or a physician taking care of his patients, or someone waiting for their return back home, such as children or a spouse, had a much higher chance of survival than those without any meaningful life back home. Knowing that someone was depending on their return gave inmates the strength to deal with even the worst atrocities imaginable. Frankl himself, in part, survived Auschwitz because he had a loving wife and family who were waiting for him as well as a profession that he loved. He imagined sharing his experiences in the concentration camp with his students at the university in Vienna where he taught and lived.
I quite frequently meet people who, despite facing most challenging times, continue to focus on experiences that give them joy and happiness, such as travel or spending time with their grandchildren.
When my world collapsed around me a couple of years ago: within just a few months I lost my father, my multimillion dollar business collapsed, my girlfriend told me that there won't be a future for us and finally I was told by my doctors that my cancer treatment over twenty years ago, had caused some damage to my heart which I eventually would have to tackle head-on by undergoing surgery, I started to think that this downward spiral would never end and that I would eventually end up on the streets. Despite all the stresses that I was exposed to, somehow I focused on the moments in the future where I could share my experiences with my future family as well as the rest of the world. I envisioned how I would be able to help other people overcome their challenges better and faster through my work: blog, videos, seminars, books and lectures. The focusing on my future, better, life, helped me to step outside of my current situation and gain some distance. With the distance came clarity and focus. The more I was able to separate myself from the collapsing world around me, the more I was able to relax and focus on the life that I wanted for myself in the future. Gradually, with each passing month and with each small success in my life, my self esteem got stronger and stronger so that I eventually dared to dream big again. Big as in retiring by 45 where I only work because I would want to work and that my work would revolve around travel and people and that it would pay me handsomely. Well, today, just a relatively shot period of time after my financial collapse I may say that I am well into my way of achieving exactly that.
There is no secret to my successes and achievements – if I can do so, I am convinced that you can do so, too. Find something in your life that "turns you on", that makes you happy and that makes you feel wanted and fulfilled. For me this is traveling the world and interacting with people – what would it be for you?
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