Introducing Slow Sex and OneTaste

It is an incredible fact that 80% of the folks that I work with (yep, you read correctly – eighty percent!) are unhappy with their sex life, be it because they don’t have sex, not enough sex or not the sex the way they want. Because sex and sexual energy are such essential, core and deep drives, needs and wants, there is no way I can talk about how to shed weight, how to get healed from a chronic pain or why eating kale is good for you, if you don’t get laid the way you need and want it helping you realign your energies and destress your body, mind and soul.

If you are in a relationship and you have not had sex in a month then something is majorly wrong! (And I do not mean that you couldn’t have sex because you were physically separated or something to that effect!). I am talking about cases where you live together, sleep in the same bed, and share a life with another person.

There is no rule of thumb how often one should have sex, but I know for sure that having sex once or twice a month ain’t doing it for any healthy relationship! If you are brutally honest to yourself you will then also realize that it is not only the not having sex part that pisses you off, but also the routine gig that you are having – no more spontaneity, no more zest but pure routine and boring as hell. No wonder neither is into “it” and many fake the orgasm to be done with “it”. Well, then they wonder why they are having certain physical or mental or emotional problems, why they hate their job and ultimately themselves…it is the sexual tension that you are not releasing. That simple! Do you remember how sex was when you met your lover in the beginning?! OMG, you were on cloud number s(e)x (it’s a pun – hehe)!

Almost no matter how old you are: if you don’t get a good shag where you can let go and simply be and feel your body, your lover’s body, sweat, scream and yell – then you are on the wrong tracks! Either fix your sex life and become lovers again (there are ways!) or get the hell out of your relationship – otherwise you will be dying a slow – very slow – death!

Below, I would like to introduce to you Nicole Daedone and OneTaste- folks that I have teamed up with as I believe they offer an “out of this world” way to help women, men, and couples alike to re-discover their sexuality and reconnect with their sexual energies and (finally) lead the fulfilling relationship we all would want to have:

You may have heard of the slow-food movement that started in Italy to counteract the rise of fast food, promote locally grown produce, and encourage meals made and eaten with care. A similar movement is taking hold in the sexual arena: the slow-sex movement. It borrows ideas from many Eastern practices like Tantra and Buddhist mindfulness but with a modern twist.

No, the slow-sex movement doesn’t advocate having sex very, very slowly (although that could be one method of engaging in it!). Rather, it seeks to remind people in a “pornified” world, where the pressure for an ideal body or the “right way” to have sex, has taken them away from the foundation of sex: connection (with your partner and your own body), intimacy, and pleasure. (Through my work I have learned that sexual pleasure can be particularly difficult for women.)

At OneTaste, women and men can learn about mindful sexuality through classes, lectures, or living at the center. The New York Times describes it as a “co-ed live-in commune dedicated to the female orgasm.” Residents engage in morning “OMing” sessions in which women — naked from the waist down — lie in curtained rooms while fully clothed men stroke them to orgasm. Nicole , who is emerging as the leader of the slow-sex movement and who founded the OneTaste urban retreat center in San Francisco, invites men and women to learn about mindful sexuality by participating in workshops, yoga, and (for residents only) in the aforementioned “OMing” session.

In her own words Nicole says: I get apprehensive about using the word “revolutionize,” but it’s to revolutionize the way we look at sex. I think that we’ve gotten extremely distant from the actual “it” that it is and that it’s gotten kind of pathological the further away we’ve gotten away from the source of it. That’s why I like the idea of slow sex. You know, in the same way that we’ve industrialized food, we’ve industrialized sex. We’ve lost the meaning and the meaning really is simple: it’s the most elemental energy that allows two people to come together and tune into their own body at the same time, which is a pretty profound thing. I think that we’ve lost track of that.

Further she says that the primary reason for women to come to OneTaste is to connect with power — not what we’ve made power into, something that you lord over people — but to connect with that personal sense of power. I think that’s one of the biggest challenges for women in our age: we don’t have access to our own power, and we don’t have access to our power because the raw source of it is our sexuality and most women have never been trained how to hold that much power in our bodies. So there’s a way that we actually have men take all the responsibility for sexuality, and then we get upset that they’re holding it. Or they have this sort of power within them, and then we get upset that we don’t have that kind of power.

And the reason why men come to OneTaste: Everyone is coming to plug into the same thing. But there is a gender differentiation. My experience with most men is that they can sense that the kind of power that they have in our culture is a precarious thing. Because it’s not real, it’s not based on truth. It’s crumbling, right? We’re watching that everywhere, so most of the guys that I see who come in don’t really want to hold the power of sexuality. They don’t want to be the sole holders of this thing. How we have sexuality set up at this point is a subject-object relationship and so it’s just inaccurate. Guys are thinking, “But I have power” and women are thinking, “But I’m the victim.” We know that’s not true; we want to find that right true relationship. The men who come to OneTaste are men who are so sick of having to pretend like they know what they’re doing.

For more info check out www.OneTaste.us.

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2 Responses to “Introducing Slow Sex and OneTaste”  

  1. 1 Foxy

    Sounds like something I’d enjoy doing .. now all I have to do is check whether my bf would as well ;D

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