My Birthday Month

We are born, grow up…fast…way too fast…zoom through school…start work…work for a seeming eternity…and finally retire…thinking that now we have all the time in the world to do all the things we always wanted to do…now we can finally travel and explore the world and now we can finally pick up tennis or learn a new language…but once retired we soon realize that boy o boy, there is much, much less time left in our hourglass and then regrets start…I should have, could have…and eventually we pass on…

 

In between the being born and the passing on there is: time…time filled with an incredible amount of experiences, some of which we still might remember: first day at school, first love, first job, first hangover, first broken heart…but most we really don’t: I don’t remember what I had for lunch the other day, neither do I remember my high school grades nor how many people I have met in my life…

 

This experience-laden time between the being born and the passing on is called: life.

 

Which at times can be beautiful and wonderful and exciting and at times dull, disillusioning and even frightening.

 

It doesn’t matter what we experience and what we think of or feel about that experience, we still experience it…and the one constant that all experiences have in common is the passing of time. Whether I love what I am experiencing – the very first kiss that I wished would never end or whether I dread what I am experiencing – the dentist drilling a hole in my tooth where the piercing noise of the drill alone makes me crap my pants…the seconds that go by are the same.

 

My life has been filled with quite a few incredible experiences: I have traveled the world and seen God knows how many countries, I have lived in several different countries on several different continents, I built up a multi-million dollar business to then see it collapse, I studied hard and went all the way to get a PhD, I fled from a revolution as a child, where we lost absolutely everything, I wrestled with cancer for several years, I was hit by a car and last but not least ended up in the ICU just two years ago as a virus had attacked my heart and my lungs and nearly got the better of me.

 

Despite the chaos and the seeming randomness that we call life, I have come to realize that indeed there is a system hidden behind the madness. In my world, my life and my experiences are created by the way I go about them. Many, many years ago I started to take responsibility for everything that happens in my life, literally everything, even the things that I possibly could not be held responsible for: revolution, cancer, car accident…

 

So now you might be asking yourself what on earth any of this has anything to do with my Birthday Month?

 

It is the one life that I have. Irrespective of how I feel about any part of my life, it is still my life. I can choose to own it or be a victim. I chose to Ride My Horse and to own my life. I am not a mere Bouncy Ball that is being tossed around by the seeming randomness of life.

 

I was born on March 31st. During the entire month of March, I celebrate my life. The simple fact of being alive. Nothing outrageous or extravagant, quite the opposite. My sole aim is to CONCSIOULY live every single hour of my day irrespective of my experience. When I eat: then I consciously eat. When I am stuck in traffic: then I am consciously stuck in traffic, and when I kiss, I consciously kiss ))

 

Every single moment I try to capture consciously as I know that it will never come back again. And this is anything but an easy endeavor. Even though I have the fullest intention of breathing in all that life has to offer me, I catch myself over and over again that hours have gone by without me consciously acknowledging me being alive.

 

Life is so fragile, so tender, so effervescent. There is no guarantee about any of it! None!

 

This active act of stepping back and quieting my mind is the most powerful way I know to show gratitude. To show appreciation. To remind myself how beautiful and wonderful and exhilarating life is – simply because I am alive!

Namaste!

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