Turning 40: And I say the Glass is Half Full!!

Life is beautiful – and it is beautiful because I make it beautiful. We all have it in our hands to make our own life as well as the lives of our family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances as well as our fellow humans beautiful or turn them into a living hell. Turning 40, for the first time, made me consciously aware of my mortality. Never before have I thought about death on such a fundamental and deep level and never before have I felt in every fiber of my being the inexorable march toward my physical end. And I must admit that for the first time in my life I could feel the icy grip of panic around my throat. When I say for the first time, I truly mean for the first time. When I wrestled with cancer in my late teenage years I of course did think of death and dying several times, but I never really believed that my journey on this planet would be coming to an end any time soon. And when I had my car accident some ten years ago, I, practically a second after the crash, knew that I would not only survive but fully recover from this accident – and the thought of my mortality never even crossed my mind. When my father passed less than two years ago, my heart and my soul dived into a deep sea of sorrow where they remained for many months to come. Even though I grieved about the loss of my own father and naturally also thought about death in general and my own eventual funeral I never ever felt the icy grip of death on a fundamental level as I have been these past few weeks. Finally, when the multi-million dollar business that I built up from scratch collapsed without me being able to do anything to avoid its “death”, I was stricken by stress, depression, and fear for my future, but I again, never wasted a second on how much time I still might have left on planet earth. But now, alas, turning 40, the impact and the knowledge of my own mortality finally hit me like a sledgehammer. Now I KNOW that my time here is limited. This knowledge has made me think a lot about what it is that I do and how I spend my time and what it is that I would like to see happen. I am finding myself scrutinizing more and more everything that I am doing as I would want to make sure that what I am doing is serving a higher purpose and is getting me closer to my ultimate goals in each and every aspect of my life. To be in the KNOW has helped me to get even more clarity about where I would want my journey to go. Bundling your energies and focusing on what is truly important and not worrying about anything else will ultimately create a most fulfilled, balanced, happy, and healthy life. 

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One Response to “Turning 40: And I say the Glass is Half Full!!”  

  1. 1 Gerda Merwald

    just add 10 to 40, another 20 to 50, suddenly you are on the fast track – is it up or down? your choice;
    life is beautiful as long as you recognize reality

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